My Journey Into Motherhood

When I was younger I always wanted to have four children, I guess because I was one of four.  However, when I turned twenty three and had my first panic attack, my whole world changed I became afraid at the thought of one child.

Meghan was a pleasant surprise, I remember taking the pregnancy test, I instantly began to shake when two lines appeared and couldn’t take my eyes off them.  I was so in shock I even tried to get up from the potty and walk without pulling up my  Hubby was on the phone…

“Erich”  He completely ignored me.

“Erich” again I got nothing.

“ERICH!”  He swung around in the computer chair, gave me a glare (because he was on the phone)  “WHAT?”.

I said “We’re Pregnant”.  He stared blankly at me for a moment and then seeming to remember he was on the phone said “Gotta Go”.

We were both extremely excited at the thought of having a little one running around and after talking and hugging I called my sister, who immediately got in the car and brought over the book “What to expect when your expecting”. 

 “I’ve been saving this book to pass on to you” she was more giddy than me, I assume at the thought of her baby sister entering the journey of motherhood. 

It didn’t take long for the morning afternoon, and evening sickness to kick in.  The doctors office began to know me as the girl with the bucket, I seriously carried a bucket everywhere I went.  I was hospitalized with hypermesis gravardium (a fancy word for really bad morning sickness) and lost close to 30lbs in a short period of time. 


When my morning sickness became tolerable, I started to put  a little weight back on and I remember going out and having the best Grilled Reuben Sandwich I’d ever had (haven’t tasted one as good since, no joke!).  That same night my husband made me spinach and cheese casadias, I thought he was a god until….. I had a gallbladder attack.  Erich and I both thought I was miscarrying, it was extremely painful and scary.  They wanted me to have surgery to have it removed, but there was no way I was going to put Meggers at risk.  I would change my diet and eat lots of Salmon and veggies (to this day, six years later, still can’t eat Salmon) oh and lots of Marshmallows? (don’t ask).  My gallbladder held out another two years because of my diet change.

Finally, after two baby showers, many weird cravings, and nine months of throwing up at the drop of a hat it was time for Meggers to be born.  Meggers was actually due on August 7th, but was comfortable en utero giving me heartburn and making my tummy look like something out of Alien.   We showed up at the hospital on the 13th to be induced, and around 4 something the next day Meggers was born.  It was the happiest day of both mine and Hubby’s life.

Meggers didn’t make her way into this world easily, she was actually slightly turned, I thought because I was such a big girl that I’d have no problem giving birth, the doctor/nurse would be there much like an umpire in baseball, to catch.  However, due to a shallow pelvis Meggers had lots of trouble and my doctor didn’t bother to show till the circus was nearing the end of it’s grand finale.  He was going to give me an injection for an episiotomy, but Meggers decided to propel herself out at that moment and he had to literally throw the needle back on the table to catch her. 

Hubby didn’t get to cut the umbilical cord because the doctor didn’t want Meggers to breathe right away, it was very scary, but eventually I heard her cry and felt a sigh of relief come over me.  It’s funny in my video of the whole experience you see me have one good contraction and then it cuts to me eating and everyone else holding Meggers…lol 

Her first feeding went very well, but when it came time for the second one she threw up black.  We later found out that she’d swallowed meconium (baby poop) en utero.  Meggers was having trouble keeping anything down and they decided to bay flight her that same night to All Children’s Hospital.  I’ll never forget them coming into my room with the glass incubator, my mum wheeling me down to the helicopter pad, watching my baby take off knowing I couldn’t go with her and crying harder than I had ever cried.  Hubby and I packed up the hospital room, went home, packed and set off to the hospital.

we spent about a week at All Children’s where we found out Meggers had reflux from mouth to nose and nose to tummy, which would make her throw up ungodly amounts, as if she were one of those old fashioned water pumps and someone kept pumping the lever.

At a month of age, Meggers had her first seizure and our journey with epilepsy began.

17 thoughts on “My Journey Into Motherhood

  1. How terrible to have had to go through so much in such a short amount of time. But look at her now! She was such a cute baby, and an even prettier little girl. Tell her happy birthday for me next week in case I forget. =)


  2. Awww! What a cute baby!
    You’re right, that had to have been SCARY! I’ll bet the first 5 minutes after she was born felt like 5 hours… it’s funny how when something like that happens time seems to speed up and slow down all at the same time.
    She’s a cutie fer sure!


  3. Love the story, love the pictures. A perfect post!
    I hope she has a wonderful birthday next week! Email me this weekend. I want to try something on both our blogs, see how it goes.


  4. This a great post and has showed me so much about you and little meggers.

    She was so tiny! And so adorable!

    What a journey you were thrown on.

    My little guy has had an awful time with reflux, but not with epilepsy, so that is new to me. I’m learning a lot through you and also through “Looky Daddy.” I don’t know if you have seen him on my blog roll, or if he is on yours, but he has a daughter who is going through seizures, etc. right now. I think she is around the same age as Meggers. you might want to check him out.

    Regardless, I just loved learning more about you and your family through this post!


  5. Oh goodness! You have not had a easy go of it at all! I can’t blame you for being nervous about another baby, but if you do, I hope the next one goes much better. It’s hard to believe how the precious little girl had such a rough start. She is absolutely beautiful!


  6. Thanks for all the lovely comments.

    Johnnymommy- yeah Meggers had it pretty bad with the reflux it sometimes would affect her at night time too. I did go and check out “Look Daddy” what a great dad.

    Debbie – Yeah I think I’m finally coming around on the idea of another baby, but it is scary as well… 1. I’m a complete worry wart and there are sooooo many things to worry about when your preggers. 2. The possibility of a C-section scares the living daylights out of me.

    Wenders – Thanks!

    Sprite – I email you, completely interested.


  7. Wow you’re so brave! The thought of childbirth and pregnancy terrifies me. What a wonderful post. Quite a story Kirsty, so much to cope with! And….

    You looked so amazing and breath takingly beautiful!!!!


  8. Oh wow.

    First I want to comment on the heartburn, I was hoping you would show a hair pic. My 2nd baby gave me terrible heartburn something I never experienced before. Everyone said she’d have tons of hair & she did. Too funny, yours did as well. I guess some wives tales can be true.

    My first baby had that projectile vomitting, it was terrible. The doctors never did give me a good reason for her having it & she had it way longer then they said she would. It finally stopped around 1, but then she started throwing up like adults, it was horrible.

    I’m so sorry on the seizures, we have that in our family. It is very scary.


  9. Mom of 2 dancers – thanks for stopping by my blog. Meggers had a great head of hair, but when she went to All childrens they shaved part of it so she looked like a little monk. Thanks for sharing your story with me.


  10. What a time you had! I just want to say that you are so strong and brave! I can’t imagine what that must have been like! Although everyone is certainly different, I have had two C-sections, unfortunately; but FORTUNATELY, they were two successes and two beautiful babies. I have a problem with pitocin (the drug that makes labor progress) so I can not have a natural childbirth. At least my doctor does not recommend it. I could probably try, but then end up having a c-section 15 hours into labor again like with the first. Anyways, just to let you know, a C-section is not so bad. Of course it hurts in the beginning because they SLIT YOU OPEN! But then, they get you up and walking asap and the pain subsides. I am not trying to scare you even more and I hope I didn’t, but wanted to tell you my story and to give you a little bright side. I would do it again in a heart beat. And because I have never experienced a natural childbirth, I am afraid of the pain of that! I guess fear is always the unknown!


  11. Sorry to hear about the rough time but sometimes, this is the way that we are tested and find the strength in ourselves as mothers to continue to fight.

    This happened to me after Little Man was 18 months old and diagnosed with autism. He went from a perfectly healthy normal child to something unknown and strange to me. As time has passed and my other children have been diagnosed as well, I have learned that these hardships have made me a better mom and taught me so much more about the value of life and love.

    I know that you must feel the same way about your little Princess and God bless you and your family for being so strong through it all!


  12. DM – Thanks for scaring me, thanks to you I’ll prob never have another Just kidding

    Krystal – Thanks for sharing your story with me. I agree with you, it’s funny how strength seems to find you when you go through tough times in your life. I love what you said about it’s taught you so much more about the value of life and love”. I couldn’t agree more.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s