I was having a morning cuppa with my sister, after dropping Meg off at school, when she suddenly perked up and said…

 “Ooooo I almost forgot your birthday present finally arrived!” 

I got quite giddy like one does when they’re getting a pressie!  She handed me the box and I wasted no time opening it. When I saw the bright yellow cover I thought “It couldn’t be… OMG IT IS!!!!!” 

My fabulous sister got me only the best book in the whole wide world!  Move over Stephanie Meyers and Dan Brown there are two new authors in town and they’re gonna show me the way to stardom!  Did you guess yet?  Yep!  that’s right she got me Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s new book…

  “How to be FAMOUS!”

I couldn’t get enough…

This book is full of it full of  great Speidi-isms  like…

  “celebrities are there to look hot for the common people!” 

 OMG that is like SOOO true Heidi!  Or this one…

 ” Having people repeat your name over and over is a great way to build your brand.” 

 So say my name bitches!  Seriously, I’ve randomly been going up to strangers and having them say my name over and over.  You know what?  I think it’s actually catching on, I’m sooo glad I listened to you Spencer.  Check out this commercial  I was sooo excited when it said my name…

Okay so yeah technically I’m a cow, but it’s all about getting your name out there right? Right!  Oh and the Kirsten cow made it to California!  That’s right she won bitches!  Not so funny now huh?!

So, when I’m standing at the podium accepting my award I will remember to thank my sister for buying me this fine piece of literature.  I will also thank Heidi and Spencer, my new found mentors, for sharing their wisdom with me.

Now I’m off to the plastic surgeon’s office to talk about Botox and liposuction because Heidi says “Nobody’s born perfect, but you can get there!”  I am soooo in awe of her people!  

I’ll leave you with my pick for Music Monday, but make sure you check back so you can see Heidi teaching me “How to say I hate you without saying a word.”

 “When Will I Be Famous” by Bros