Tag: mental health

Mental Health Check

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Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the Action. You don’t have to be confident. Just do it and the confidence will follow. Carrie Fisher

I always admired Carrie Fisher’s feisty, unapologetic spirit! She empowered and inspired little girls, in the 80’s like me with her role as Princess Leia. She was superbly funny in real life and a strong advocate for mental health! ❤️

It took a long time for me to call my anxiety/panic disorder a mental health issue because of the stigmas associated with using the label “mental health”. Over the years it was implied through movies and other outlets that someone (usually women) with mental health issues were crazy, incapable, irrational, prone to mental break downs/outbursts and likely to end up in some form of institutional care. These broad stroke perceptions of mental health have denied women proper treatment, caused many to suffer in silence and some to take their own lives.

In the words of Jessie J “it’s okay not to be okay” and it’s okay to ask for help! Having a mental health issue doesn’t mean you lack intelligence or that you’re weak and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re incapable of achieving personal goals or successes! I can’t tell you how many times people have assumed I can’t do something because of my “anxiety”, I have even been told I’m lucky my husband is a good guy and has stuck around for so long, as if I possessed no other qualities or worth. Those words definitely hurt, but more so showed me there is still a huge lack of understanding and support when it come to mental health.

If you have a mental health issue please make time talk with someone you trust and get the help you need. Know your worth! Surround yourself with people who don’t see your mental health as a hindrance of your abilities, because you need people you can be candid with, who will lift you and support you without judgement. It’s not easy and I’m not naive to the struggle!

So, I’ll leave you with something I journaled that is deeply personal, unfinished, evolving, but if it helps one person know they’re not alone it’s worth it…

I am not perfect…

I struggle with anxiety and depression and feeling like I’m failing. I struggle with not being able to fix things that are out of my control. I struggle to find purpose.

I struggle!

Some days those struggles leave me with nothing to give. I’m overwhelmed! I’m exhausted! I’m bruised and broken!

I struggle!

I struggle with fear and feeling not good enough, but I know those feelings are temporary and will pass.

I struggle, but…

there are also days I feel like super woman! I get things done! I crush it! I give one hundred and ten percent of myself to my family and others! I am faithful, loyal, trustworthy, loving, empathetic, creative and worthy!

I am enough!

Inner Demons

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Anxiety, the quiet demon in my life, keeps my body in perpetual fear.  It’s the uneasy feeling in your chest, lack of strength in your legs, nausea in your stomach, lack of confidence, the tightness in your throat as you choke back tears and the fear of judgement!

Anxiety is a daily struggle.

Anxiety isolates you.

Anxiety makes you question your abilities.

Anxiety makes you weak.

Anxiety is a confidence killer.

Anxiety is fear of the unknown.

Anxiety is lack of control.

Anxiety is hell.

I will not let anxiety define me.

For every step backwards I will push forward two.

Failure is okay because failure is where success begins.

Every day is a gift and a chance to start over.

Strength comes from within.

Love and respect are earned.

I am a survivor!

 

An Anxious Mind (great name for a book don’t ya think?)

Published on by Coffee, Chocolate & Xanax10 Comments

 “Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”  Arthur Somers

I’ve learned a lot about myself  in the 10 years I’ve lived with anxiety.  I’ve learned that although I have moments of weakness I’m strong in the face of adversity.  One would have to be  in order to endure the daily struggle that goes on in the mind of a person living with anxiety.  I’m often intrigued how it can, on one hand, completely imobilize me,  yet on the other, unveil an amazing determination.   

The last couple of weeks have been really tough, my anxiety has been coming on strong and staying awhile.  It’s crazy, irrational, annoying and exhausting!  I live my life in a constant state of fear and stress! I’m sure there are certain people in my life who’ll read this, eat it up and use it as their next gossip session, but so be it. 

Everybody has their own theory on how and why my anxiety started, but I can only look at some of the things that were going on in my life at the time and how I reacted to them.  However, I often think if they’re what triggered my anxiety and I know this why do they still happen?  And what do I have to do to make them stop?

I’m aware my anxiety is all fear based and is exasperated by a lack of control of those fears.  For example, I have a fear of dying, so when I have palpitations or feel a little dizzy that fear is intensified and my mind floods with hundreds of other fears like “am I having a heart attack?”,  “will I see my family again?”, “what will happen to my daughter?”, “I don’t want to die”, “am I going crazy?”, and it sends my body into a fight or flight mode which sometimes will lead into a full blown panic attack… can’t breath, palpitations, sweats, nervousness, gotta get outta here, etc..

A panic attack is very scary, once you’ve had one, the fear of another is sometimes just as scary as the panic attack itself.  In the beginning I found myself avoiding places where I had an attack and the thought of revisiting those places made me extremely anxious.  Over time it seems to have dominoed into lots of little irrational fears making it much harder to do simple things like going to the grocery store, driving long distances, or just being in social situations in general.  The fear of having an attack in public and the possibility of someone judging me was and still is scary.   Will they think I’m crazy? is one of the first thoughts that comes to mind or what if I pass out?  What’ll happen to Meg? Anxiety tends to make me think of the worst case scenario’s and I haven’t quite figured out how to rewire that process yet.

Sometimes anxiety make me lonely, depressed, angry and frustrated, but I know I have to keep moving forward and pushing myself to do the things that make me uncomfortable, some days are better than others, but as long as I try I’m making progress right?!

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the things which you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

 

to be continued…..

 

 

 

 

 

An Anxious Mind (great name for a book don't ya think?)

Published on by Coffee, Chocolate & Xanax10 Comments

 “Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”  Arthur Somers

I’ve learned a lot about myself  in the 10 years I’ve lived with anxiety.  I’ve learned that although I have moments of weakness I’m strong in the face of adversity.  One would have to be  in order to endure the daily struggle that goes on in the mind of a person living with anxiety.  I’m often intrigued how it can, on one hand, completely imobilize me,  yet on the other, unveil an amazing determination.   

The last couple of weeks have been really tough, my anxiety has been coming on strong and staying awhile.  It’s crazy, irrational, annoying and exhausting!  I live my life in a constant state of fear and stress! I’m sure there are certain people in my life who’ll read this, eat it up and use it as their next gossip session, but so be it. 

Everybody has their own theory on how and why my anxiety started, but I can only look at some of the things that were going on in my life at the time and how I reacted to them.  However, I often think if they’re what triggered my anxiety and I know this why do they still happen?  And what do I have to do to make them stop?

I’m aware my anxiety is all fear based and is exasperated by a lack of control of those fears.  For example, I have a fear of dying, so when I have palpitations or feel a little dizzy that fear is intensified and my mind floods with hundreds of other fears like “am I having a heart attack?”,  “will I see my family again?”, “what will happen to my daughter?”, “I don’t want to die”, “am I going crazy?”, and it sends my body into a fight or flight mode which sometimes will lead into a full blown panic attack… can’t breath, palpitations, sweats, nervousness, gotta get outta here, etc..

A panic attack is very scary, once you’ve had one, the fear of another is sometimes just as scary as the panic attack itself.  In the beginning I found myself avoiding places where I had an attack and the thought of revisiting those places made me extremely anxious.  Over time it seems to have dominoed into lots of little irrational fears making it much harder to do simple things like going to the grocery store, driving long distances, or just being in social situations in general.  The fear of having an attack in public and the possibility of someone judging me was and still is scary.   Will they think I’m crazy? is one of the first thoughts that comes to mind or what if I pass out?  What’ll happen to Meg? Anxiety tends to make me think of the worst case scenario’s and I haven’t quite figured out how to rewire that process yet.

Sometimes anxiety make me lonely, depressed, angry and frustrated, but I know I have to keep moving forward and pushing myself to do the things that make me uncomfortable, some days are better than others, but as long as I try I’m making progress right?!

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the things which you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

 

to be continued…..